The "I'm not doing enough" lie

Learn how to feel like you’re doing enough by using this shift in perspective, and finally start to feel ok resting and relaxing. We often feel overwhelmed and overworked, yet think we need to keep going and do more. The truth is you’re doing enough, and there is a lot of value in resting, play, and pleasure. Gain self-worth by not putting all your worth in your productivity.

Are you as ready for a break as I am? For some, that’s gonna be a big fat, “Hell yes!!” For others, you’re right in the flow and ready to get even more down to business. 

I was talking to two different clients earlier this week, and they both were sharing a similar pain point, but it was happening for different reasons for each of them.

For one of my clients, he was feeling a pressure to do more, but what he needed was a break.  He had just gone through a major life change, and not to mention, had only recently even allowed himself to take a day off of work at all.

For the other, she was feeling a pressure to do more, and what she needed was to get to work.  She had all this energy, and she knew exactly where she wanted that energy to go. She was excited about what she was creating, and it actually felt stagnant to have too much down time or relaxing time.

The problem is, we live in a culture that supports some pretty f’ed up conditioning: 

• We start to confuse our identity with what we do (instead of who we are - which is so much more than what we do).

• We start to believe that our worth is tied to our productivity.

• We aren’t given many (if any) tools to sit in the stillness, or be with what wants to come up when we pause and get quiet.

• In fact, we HIGHLY undervalue stillness and pausing all together.

So, it’s no wonder that this pressure to do more can come up for different reasons, and can feel confusing and conflicting within us.

The truth is, sometimes the pressure to do more is helpful. It’s this nudge and reminder that we have important work to do in this world - gifts we need and want to share with the world, things we want to create, and energy that comes from doing the things we love to do.

And other times, it’s just purely conditioning. These other times, if we’re listening to our natural rhythms and cycles, we need a break. And maybe what we really really need is some PLAY and PLEASURE in our life, but we’re so conditioned into thinking that “it can wait” or that it’s not as valuable, valid, or AS necessary as “work work” is. 

But what if play and pleasure is also our work?

 I shared in my last article about the feminine and masculine energies, and how having a harmony of both actually leads to more energy and flow overall. Play and pleasure are absolutely feminine energies. And what I’ve noticed is that we tend to spend 99% of the time in work, and maybe 1% in play. Doesn’t that seem a little off? 

We take ourselves too damn seriously, and our play and pleasure not seriously enough.

I love using the example that kids bring to the table for this. They actually take their play pretty seriously. When they’re in a game, they are IN it. When they’re coloring, it’s serious business. What if we took play seriously in this way? And allowed it to be as super important and necessary and nourishing as kids instinctively know it to be? 

More often than not, when we’re experiencing that pressure to do more more more, it’s not because we haven’t done enough. It’s the conditioning. And it’s the misunderstanding that the feminine energies, like play & pleasure, aren’t as vital to your life.

The truth is, they are full of life force, and without them, we quickly become drained, depleted, and disconnected. If this is resonating with you, I’d encourage you to make a simple list of some things that are fun, playful, and pleasurable for you. Then, mean serious business about it! Get it in your calendar and make it happen.

If you want some ideas, one thing I’ve incorporated that’s super easy to fit in is dance. You can do this everyday, and even just dancing to one song is a day-changer. Maybe play for you looks like taking yourself to the movies, spending a few hours roaming an area of town, or having a game night. Whatever it is, the most important thing to remember is to tune in to this need within you, and realize that it’s just as important as all the other work you do in your life. This might be a radical idea for you. If so, I’m happy to be the one to help stretch those boundaries and bust out those limitations.

If you feel ready for some help getting clear on what a joyful flow looks like and feels like for you, and a plan to make that happen in your life, you can find out more about my coaching program here.

I’m off for some FUN myself!! I’ll be spending a week on vacation, enjoying the sun, sand, and adventures of the caribbean. I can’t wait, and you can bet, I’ll be taking that fun VERY seriously ;)

To your joy and pleasure,

Angie

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