3 Ways to Let Go of Comparison
Comparing ourselves to others can become a bad habit that we just can’t seem to kick. It robs us of our joy, and disconnects us from our true selves and our power. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to always be this way. There are specific tools we can practice to kick this comparison habit and start feeling more confident, empowered, and joyful, not to mention more connected to ourselves and to others.
This week, I’m guest coaching in a local Facebook group called Everyday Inspired. I was inspired to create a 5-day comparison detox challenge for the group, and as I know comparison can run rampant, I thought you all might enjoy the wisdom and benefits from the challenge as well!
What do you think? Could you use a little comparison detox? My guess is most of us could!
Here are 3 powerful ways to detox from comparison:
#1 Practice Mudita.
About five or so years ago, when I started working one to one with a coach, I was introduced to the concept of Mudita. I’d never heard of it before, but it completely changed my life.
At that time, I was comparing myself to so many people in my life. I believed I wasn’t good enough, and looked at all the ways other people were more successful, more likeable, and more beautiful. Needless to say, this left me feeling weighed down, disempowered, and feeling sadness.
Mudita means "To find joy and pleasure in another's good fortune." It's the opposite of the word Schadenfreude, which means "to find pleasure in another's misfortune."
When I learned about Mudita, this began to shift things in a massive way. I started to practice feeling genuine happiness for the people I was previously comparing myself to, including who they were, their successes, and how they looked.
The weight and sadness I had felt by comparing myself to them began to lift. And then, over time, I started to experience more of the things I thought they had, that I didn't have. It's magical! ✨
So challenge #1 is to practice Mudita.
#2 Let go of comparing yourself to your past self.
I've noticed that one way comparison has shown up in my life is by comparing myself to a past version of myself in a negative way. Oftentimes this can come up with our looks, right? Or it might be a past job vs current job, past relationships, your health, etc.
The truth is, we are EVOLUTIONARY creatures. We are continuing to blossom, every single day and throughout all the cycles and rhythms we travel through in life.
As one of my coaches would say, “Change is the essence of life.” So in this sense, comparison doesn’t even make sense! Although, it never really does.
So your mission #2 is to EMBRACE exactly where you're at and who you are RIGHT NOW, and to claim your evolutionary nature. We are not meant to be consistent, but rather, to blossom and unfold.
The specific tool I want to offer for this is version of The Work, by Byron Katie. To do this, take one judgement you have about yourself, and ask the following questions, in this order:
Is it true? Can I absolutely know without a shadow of a doubt? Would I bet my life on it?
What do I feel and experience when I believe this?
Who would I be without this thought? (really allow yourself to imagine not having that thought)
What are two concrete examples of how the opposite is true?
(You can ask these questions to yourself, or have a friend ask them to you.)
It’s important to really ask each question, give it some thought, and answer from your heart.
For more detailed info on The Work, and free resources, check out Byron Katie's website here.
#3 Practice connecting to yourself through movement.
Comparison disconnects us from our true self. When we shift into other ways of being, we can feel happier, we can feel our innate wholeness, and, we can stay on our soul's path of purpose. 💖
One of my teachers once said, "Comparison is the death of you."
The way I feel when I'm comparing myself to others or to a past version of myself is - it feels like I cut myself off from my body, and everything is swirling around in my head, and that's where all my energy is. Not a good feeling.
One beautiful antidote for this is MOVEMENT! I particularly love dance, yoga, and hiking. And that may be different for you, but any way to simply move your body and bring your attention into your body, and out of your head, will allow you to connect back to yourself.
If you choose dance, you don't have to be a good dancer or have the best moves. This is really just about getting into your body. I created a go-to Spotify playlist of songs I like to dance to, so that anytime I’m needing that connection and release, I can just hit play.
Your mission #3 is to move out of comparison by moving into your body.
There you have it. Three powerful challenges - your missions, should you choose to accept!
I'd love to hear how this goes for you. Share in the comments below!
If you'd like some 1:1 support in your life, in creating more happiness, feeling natural confidence, and having peaceful, satisfying relationships, let's chat! You can find out more about my coaching program and book a time to chat here.
I'm sending you love, joy, and blessings for a beautiful day!
Xoxo,
Angie
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