Who are you really? And why that question matters

In a culture that expects us to be constantly productive, and lives little time or wisdom for slowing down, it’s easy to become disconnected with the truth of who we are. I work with coaching clients all the time who feel this way - they don’t have a clear sense of their true self. But who we are is underneath all that pressure and busyness. It’s there in the stillness. It’s our essence, and it can never be taken away or lost, only recovered.

I'm just getting back from my honeymoon and my first time being in the eastern world... Oh Bali 😊 I think of her with such a smile on my face!

I received a lot of gifts from my time there. Keys to a happier life, that I believe the Balinese people can offer to us westerners.

What a beautiful experience it was. I was so grateful to be so far away, and to gain new perspectives. We hold on so tight to certain ideals and ways of being here in the U.S. that just aren’t a thing in Bali. Or at least they didn't appear to be. And I’m forever changed as a result of being in that different energy. 

Getting married was certainly an initiation into the next stage in my life, a deeper opening of myself, and stepping into my Queendom. And Bali was that, part two.

I feel more myself than ever. 

I have more clarity about what's important in life, and the CHOICE I have in how I use my time, energy, and attention.

A lot of this can easily get dictated for us or go unconscious. It happens in how we use our phones, how we use social media, and the pressures we put on ourselves that come more from our culture or somewhere outside of ourselves, more than they do our own truth.

While on the trip, I wasn’t bombarded with non-stop advertising and marketing - it's not present at the same level there. Since I was on vacation, I barely checked my email and virtually never checked social media. I didn’t make any phone calls and sent only a few texts or Whatsapp messages.

It. Was. Amazing.

And in that space, I had time to just be. To be present. To be fully available for the experience at hand. To be more connected with nature, with myself, and with others.

I had the space to feel more closely connected with the essence of who I am, and less the identity of who I am.

We have so many acquired or assumed identities - Your career or business, your relationship identities, your social circles, your community, country, or citizenship, your preferences, hobbies, or interests.

So who are you when you strip all that down?

What I found was that if I took all that away, and went even deeper than my desires, there was a sense of who I am beyond all of that. And that essence remains when you strip it all away.

For me a part of this essence is a curiosity to learn and experience new things, as well as to connect.

Our essence is what's there no matter what, and it can never be taken away. It's beyond any title, position, or role. These things are not there because of what they give me emotionally or otherwise. They are at the core very nature of who I am. They simply are.

I believe at the very nature of who we are, are these core things in such a pure form. They might not be the exact same for each person, but I have this sneaking suspicion that connection would be there for most.

It seems in the western world, we try so hard. We take ourselves so seriously sometimes. And we tend to PUSH, and strive, and fight, and drive on. We get so consumed with our identities, and with how they will be perceived, how acceptable they are, how successful we are within them... 

We try to "make it". To "get there". To be "good enough". To have enough. 

We run so fast that it's no wonder we can so easily feel a disconnection from not only others, but from ourself.

We run in search of something - success, love, happiness... Sometimes we don't even realize we're disconnected at all. We're so caught up in the momentum that we can't see any other way. 

We're afraid to slow down, to be still, to get quiet. Afraid that that might mean failure. Afraid of the silence itself. Afraid of the unknown and unplanned. Full of a need to go and do. And filled with a belief that things will fall apart, that there won't be enough, if we don't. 

Working towards goals can absolutely be a wonderful thing. But when it's combined with a disconnection from who you already are, all that you already have, and the sense that you need these achievements in order to be "better" or "good enough", that's when it can throw you off your true path and your happiness in the present. That's when fear can fuel, versus faith, presence, gratitude, trust, and truth. 

Sometimes our lives are set up in a way that slowing down even a little feels next to impossible. We set ourselves up to be so busy, to have so much to do, to assume countless roles and responsibilities. And we attach to these identities we assume, often without the consciousness of why. 

But there is such a deep and profound level of peacefulness when we acknowledge that who we are is none of that.

Who we are is so much deeper, and does not require any achievement, and level of doing... it requires no thing at all outside of ourselves. It simply is.

I don't have all the answers for you to make these shifts, let go, and tune in - it's different for everyone. I just know that it's a choice we CAN make.

We can choose to be brave and try it out. We can choose to trust a little more, and do a little less. We can have the courage to be with ourselves in the stillness long enough to see that who we are is so far beyond any of the things we've attached to. 

It requires a certain level of letting go, of relaxing, and of TRUSTING. It requires making the effort and space to tune in, rather than to continue to tune out, numb out, and just keep going.

It requires acknowledging that you DO have a choice. 

I hope that even in just reading this you can feel it a little, or maybe a lot 😊

Sprinkling a little Eastern love and magic over you ✨  

Xoxo,

Angie

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